Hearts and Minds

Well kids, I really don’t know what to say about last week, it kinda just went right by and now that I think about it, it seems like a blur. I don’t even think I posted last week…hmmm. Anyways. So the week basically started last Sunday when me and a couple friends made plans to go dancing Friday. The majority of my week was spent at the gym, hoping to get my legs ready for a dancing marathon (yeah good in theory but my legs still killin me today), Other than that I went back to school and I have been watching old episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Wow I can’t believe at one time I thought this was the best show on television…It’s still better than any other vampire shit out right now, Although what with Vampire Diaries coming soon maybe there will be some competition…lol I’m sure there won’t be; but Vampire Diaries will be pretty to look at:

 On the big day (Friday) I had a little trouble getting ready for the festivities of the night that were about to ensue (mostly because I managed to get really fucked up Thursday with a first round start at about 3p.m.) but about 5min before everyone met up at the apartment I was ready to get my ass on the dance floor. Pre game was definitely good times as we came up with abbreviated nicknames for everyone. The trick is to say it real gangsta like, my abbreviated name is T.E.O. which stands for turns em out…don’t worry we won’t tell your girl. Once I finally got to dancing I didn’t stop and eventually became solo dancer, which was the best thing that happened the whole night, well besides  when one of my friends fell backwards off the stage we was dancing on, and I had to use my amazing dance moves to do a spin move and pretend I saw nothing (we only use the term “man down” when someone can’t finish their drink at last call and they need assistance)  all in all it was everything a dancing fool could ask for in a night.

So the best news I can offer in this blog post is the new season of Gossip Girl will start in 36 days.

Guest starring my girlfriend Hilary Duff:

House of the Rising Sun

It’s been a while but what can I say I’ve been buzzy as a bee! Summer is my season after all…I look really good when I sweat…like at the gym for instance (more on that in a second) this past week I did see Transformers, not much to say about that besides “I think Optimus Prime is a T.I.L.F. and Megan Fox is still the most annoying, overrated person on the planet at the moment.” I realized Mulligans is still the place for summer drinking and one pitcher is always going to end up three pitchers. “Pool Parties” are the best when you are the only one swimming, and it’s fine if you call me Steven, because when I’m done with you I’d prefer you didn’t call me at all. And lastly the weekend came and my quest for fireworks and hamburgers began, which I was able to find fairly easily…just not where I would exactly have hoped…see Steven likes eating hamburgers in a pool and creating his own fireworks. No we haven’t seen the last of Steven just yet this summer…

Now about that gym story, I’d been noticing this guy at the gym. He kept giving me the side eye and I’m like that guy is straight w the f now I know, I know that hasn’t stopped me before, but I’m trying to learn my lesson, or something along those lines…Anyways I think it is important to point out that there is only one place you have less of a chance of picking me up than the club when I’m dancing, and that would be the gym. So this guy at the gym not really important at all, and then I see him run, whutayouknow he is gay. Still does not matter the gym is not the place for such things. Now my water bottle cap is broken so when I go into the locker room to get my things I sit down and remove the cap to my water bottle and down it. I was keeping in routine, that is until gay runner also went into the locker room as well and started undressing but in slow motion…LOL right? That is until it came off and I’m sitting there speechless because of gay runners banging body, and so I go to take a drink of my water bottle, forgetting I had just removed the lid… yep you know the rest. So I think “Fast” gotta work this and I remember at the end of the “dirrty” video when Christina wipes the filth from her mouth and I do this with the water all over my face but then I realize this is all too hilarious and I need to get the fuck outta this ridiculous situation. Can’t really picture this? Here is a similar visual for you:

Well thats it kids, shouldn’t be as busy this week, but I am trying to avoid my withdrawls I’m starting to have…

 

And it doesn’t help much there was no new True Blood this week!

 

Prostitution Is the World’s Oldest Profession (and I, Dear Madame, Am a Professional)

I took a break from the LOST titles (most likely because I have a lot of incoherent bullshit to write about) and instead decided to use the title of a Cobra Starship song, for those of you who know me that would be that band with G.A.B.E. in the lineup. I for some reason have not been able to beat one single game of solitaire tonight, all the jokes come to mind, “Your no good at playing with yourself!” or “You just don’t have a good hand!” So I decided to read up on some pop culture…which always gets me going…

So now then let’s discuss some serious issues. Right around the time Lady Gaga let the world know that she was 22 years of age (that would be one year older than me!) I decided I was done with this bitch, it’s one thing to pretend your a 21 year old boy, it’s quite another to be a 38 year old woman pretending to be 22…age like a lady, Lady Gaga!

And done I was! However many times I got down on the dance floor to her music, me and the Gaga where “professionally done”…that is until this week, GAGa’s new music video stars  Alexander Skarsgård (more to come on him in a second) obviously I had to watch, watch 8 fucking minutes of some longer than necessary music video! Seriously follow the fucking formula: Fast song, Choreographed Dance for about 5 min. Slow song, touch your face, hair, boobs, body etc. for about 3 min. But not Lady G, oh no she’s “better” than this. She clashes old Hollywood (mostly word fonts) with 80’s and big brother scandal in the video for her new single Paparazzi. What I didn’t understand is there was random shots of  Ms. Gaga making out with what can only be described as “people” so I decided to do a little bit of research, yep Mr. Gaga is bisexual, her videos and previous interviews were more than enough evidence. She started out by saying in interviews that she loves the gays (pretty much a direct quote, “scouts honor”) and from there we got her being some bisexual fiend. Come on gay community! are we gonna fall for this!? Sometimes I feel like the gay community are just like those fat people, watching an infomercial with promise of a better life with 5 easy payments of…whatever. Trust me the only thing we can get from Lady Gaga is an std I mean if she spots you and your hag, and she’s hungry, your a goner. Or you know there is that whole thing where she is basically the European answer to America’s Tila Tequila and we got over that bitch, at least she was hot…

Now all about Alexander Skarsgård…

Basically a friend of mine told me to watch HBO’s True Blood, I asked her about it, she said it was really good, and really shocking, and really weird. So I said ok hesitantly, and turns out it’s none of the above. I read some information on the show (viewer testimony, things like that) and what was said, quite a bit is that the show was “kinda off in the beginning and then got good!” off as in weird a lot of the watcher quotes stated. I completely forgot about this once I started watching the show that is until I got past the (one assumes) “weird” beginning and I’m left wondering ok what the fuck is this show going to do, I’m getting a little annoyed here. “I” assume that it would be wise to remember I live in America and to some, even “soft core porn” is still weird, which was cut down quite a bit after the first few episodes. Not that I thought the show was only good because everyone was fucking, no it was more like the show got boring and people stopped fucking and then everyone else loved it. So what is left, basically Some fucking watered down love story…except well, we still have Alexander Skarsgård the big bad evil character, that according to early season 2 spoilers, will be having his first homoerotic scenes airing soon…well True Blood maybe you might have a weird beginning again for the season 2 premiere.

 

But actually speaking of Tila Tequila she recently was part of a PSA for the No H8 Campaign, which is obviously VERY important. .

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=41170436867&ref=nf

and also

http://www.noh8campaign.com/

Collision

I’ve decided my singing voice compliments me well. I’m incredibly tone deaf, but this voice I have; really goes hand in hand with everything else about me. As my friend Serena* pointed out to me last night, “You really march to the beat of your own drum” I politely corrected her and said “I think you mean I dance to the bass of my own techno.” I then made the promise to my friend that she would in fact come to love my voice then we did some Britney Spears karaoke…followed by Bon Jovi, Black Eyed Peas, and Ashley Tisdale…I’m sure my friend is coming around to my voice. Obviously I also am going to have to have different singing styles as well (I mean really, more than the tone deaf style?) to match my current mood, current emotions…etc. I’m sure I’ll be rapping a lot and mostly about dance moves and my boots.

Speaking of things awesomely bad, Ryan Reynolds…I’ve recently become addicted to Men’s Health Magazine, I could lie and say that I like to read the health articles, and work out tips but that’s a lie. They do articles on/interviews with men celebrities, which are meant to be motivational I guess, (Matthew Fox on Racing…cars!, Jason Statham on Interior Decorating his Home) and motivate me they do, to never be as big a douche as these Man celebrities some of the quotes are ridiculous and completely ego centric. I can see it now though, Next Month in Men’s Health Magazine!: Simon Summers on his One of a kind Singing Voice and his Boots! In the March issue Ryan Reynolds made a comparison between his motorcycle and my penis (oh wait that was me) and told me how to dress, really Ryan Reynolds the only cool thing about you is your wife, if only she wasn’t so smart! Other Awesomely bad things taken from the week: Kings of Leon (thanks 3OH!3) Yeah Yeah Yeahs, True Blood, crappy Pop stars doing electro/techno music that really isn’t electro/techno at all, and Season of Love by Shiny Toy Guns.

Lastly I’ve decided on trying to work out a schedule for my blog (no promises really!) Sunday week in preview-week in review/Monday new music review!/Wednesday I love this crappy song/Friday random segment…there we go wish me luck!

The Beginning of the End

I like to drive, a lot actually I mean I don’t even know how I’m getting to work the rest of the week because I’ve met my quota on driving for the week. When I drive though, I know where I’m going, and obviously that is not the case any other time. Herein lies the basis for this blog, for all intentional purposes this is not my first blog and this blog will follow the same formula as my previous blog; I’m angry, (I know everyone on myspace blogs is angry in someway or another but really) I’m lost, I’m really good at dancing, I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I like pop star hookers…deal with it, this is my blog. Also I’m quite the drinker…so drunk blogs will happen from time to time, win win win? Now don’t get me wrong I’m not sad, which is why I didn’t list it in my qualities up above, and it is not my intention to make a sad blog, I mean I’m really happy about my dancing moves, but using the word Tragic…isn’t exactly a shot in the dark. So enjoy reading.